Casey vs Little Kids
by Shrimpy Kay
Summary: Just some fluff. I'm a "Casey's really a softy" fan. Rating for swearing.


Casey _hates_ little kids. Always has, always will. They're needy, loud, and most importantly, they're annoying as hell. A few times he imagined himself raising a family, but now he wants to slap himself for ever thinking such a thing.

It all starts when Casey comes late to the Buy More. Bartowski apparently forgets to do a wash and starts freaking out in that little girly voice of his about what to wear. Typical. He doesn't know whom to blame-Bartowski, or Walker, who he wants to look good for.

So they clock in late, and from there Casey likes to imagine the scene as an Old Western-his favorite type of movie. As he walks through the store, Big Mike's office door opens. Everyone-including Bartowski-vanish in an instant, so Casey is immediately spotted by the larger man. Cue the standoff music plus the ragweed and it's perfect as they stare each other down.

"Casey," Big Mike starts. "You're late."

"Bartowski wasn't ready." His fingers itch toward his gun. He knows over a hundred ways to kill a man, but as everyone knows in standoffs all you have is you, you gun, and your opponent.

Where Big Mike's gun holster would be in a rolled up newspaper. However, he doesn't need a gun-he has the ultimate weapon.

"We need someone in the daycare."

If it _had _been a Western movie, this would be the part where Casey drops dead. But here he is now, surrounded by screaming toddlers.

Why does the Buy More even have a day care? Honestly, who the hell needs someone to watch your kid while you shop for electronics? Apparently, as Big Mike said, it will "Help parents that are tied down with their kids come shop without the hassle. That way more parents will want to come and sales will go up."

Bull. Shit. He's stuck here until lunch break, and he's counting down by the second. But he gives Big Mike some credit-it's a lot more popular than he thought it would be. All around him he hears voices-voices that won't give him peace and quiet for even one minute.

"Can't we do something?"

"Weeeee!"

"What's this thing do?"

Casey catches the falling object just in time and puts it back on the nearest shelf. One of those stupid toys Big Mike decided to include for the kids.

He returns to his seat and rests his chin on his hands. Were these honestly the people he works to help save? He hoped that they'll be less annoying by the time he turns sixty. Highly doubtful. At least all of them are potty-trained, though.

Oh, great. Another one.

But of course Casey has to greet this woman with a smile. It's pretty easy-she's a hell of a looker. Tall with long legs, brunette (straight hair), skinny, piercing light blue eyes…kind of reminds him of the other Bartowski in a way; only this woman has a baby with her (although this could easily be Ellie in two years, since she's getting married-he shudders just thinking about it). Yes, an actual _not_ potty-trained baby. Casey almost curses. Babies only poop and cry, and he was going to have to watch one for God knows how long.

"Welcome to the Buy More, how can I help?" He even manages the smile.

"I'm here for the day care thing. I need to buy a present for my husband's birthday without Melissa here bothering me."

Damn, so she has a husband. Well, we can't all get lucky. But what could he expect? She doesn't seem like the type to get knocked up and then be single. "Yeah, sure," he replies.

"Thank you." She turns to the baby-Melissa. "Mommy's going to go for a little while," the woman coos. "You stay here with…" she looks at the nametag on Casey's green shirt. "John."

Casey reluctantly takes the baby from her arms. At least she doesn't seem like a crier. The married woman thanks him again and leaves a few things "just in case". Great. Now he's stuck here with screaming toddlers _and_ a baby who he is sure can out-scream any of the other children here if she wants to.

The woman is the typical American Dream. Her and her husband probably have the house with the white picket fence and the car. All that's missing is the 1.5 kids.

Casey turns his attention to the baby in his arms. Bright blue eyes like her mother's and auburn curls. The little fist is reaching out towards him.

It's too bad that in two years she'll be one of the ones running around. Then she will grow up to be a teenager-God he hates teenagers. Give a kid a car and all they do is cause mayhem. She starts dating, gets married and starts her own little American Dream.

_**Crash**_. Damnit, someone dropped something. Casey retrieves the object-luckily it's just some toy that breaks into three pieces. Now he just needs to find a place to put the baby…

"That's a pretty baby."

Casey looks down. It's one of the older kids-she's around six or so. With long brown curls and brown eyes, he can tell that she will definitely be a looker when she's older.

"Is she yours?" the girl asks.

He gives her a long look. "No, she's not."

"She's really cute."

Casey looks down into those searching eyes, hears the soft giggle that escapes her lips, and sees how small she is in his arms.

Okay, he admits. She's kind of cute.


End file.
